What Happens Next
by Nicole16
Summary: This picks up where The Lizzie McGuire Movie left off, starting w/ the plane ride home. L/G, reviews are great! :)
1. Chapter One

Chapter One  
  
"Another fourteen hours and we'll finally be home," I said as I settled into the plane seat next to my best friend, Gordo. And now, he was kinda my boyfriend. "I miss my room, and my- oh my gosh! Miranda's coming home tomorrow! I totally forgot!"  
"It's been almost two months since the last time we saw her," Gordo replied, looking out his window at the incredible view of Rome in the morning. Then, he looked at me. "What do you think she'll say?"  
"What, about me and you?" I questioned, even though I knew that was exactly what he was talking about. "She'll be happy. I think she knew this was going to happen."  
  
*Toon Lizzie- At least, I hope that's what she'll think.*  
  
"Lizzie, you didn't even know this was going to happen," Gordo said quizically, even though he wasn't asking a question. He has a way of doing that, and sometimes, it can get annoying. "What if we just don't tell her?"  
"She's our-" I began to argue, but the distressed cries of my annoying little brother, Matt, interrupted me.  
"No! Don't ground me!" he was begging my to my parents from the seat behind us in his pathetic, whiney voice. "It was just a stupid joke!"  
"Matt!" I exclaimed, angrily turning around in my seat. "We are trying to have a conversation over here. What did you do now?"  
"It was only a bug in a plastic ice cube," he whined to my parents, ignoring my question.  
"Sorry, Lizzie," Mom said. "Your brother will be silent for the next fourteen hours or he will be grounded twice as long when we get home." She looked Matt in the eye and he instantly shut up.  
"Thank you," I said as I turned back around to face Gordo. "Now. She's our best friend. We can't just lie to her like that, Gordo! Besides, she'll have to figure it out sooner or later."  
"Yeah," Gordo sighed, looking out his window again. Knowing him, he was probably expecting a skywriter to fly by with the answer or something. "She doesn't know about your little quote unquote pop star episode, either."  
"Gordo! How could she not?" I asked with a laugh. "It was only on the International Music Video Awards. International."  
  
*Toon Lizzie- Duh! Why was he the one they wanted to start high school early?*  
  
"Yeah, but we didn't even get the IMVAs at home," he reasoned logically. "If the United States didn't get it, chances are Mexico City didn't either."  
  
*Toon Lizzie- Oh. That's why.*  
  
"What am I going to tell her?" I asked rhetorically to no one in particular, resting my head on the back of the plane seat and closing my eyes.  
When we got home, it was 4:30- in the morning. After dropping Gordo off at his house, we all went home and crashed. I slept until 1:30 in the afternoon, and I would have slept longer if my sleep wasn't interrupted.  
"Lizzie!" a familiar voice called, waking me from a deep sleep. "Would you wake up already?"  
"What do you want, Miranda?" I grumbed angrily, only caring about sleeping longer.  
  
*Toon Lizzie- Miranda!*  
  
When I realized who was waking me up, I jumped out of bed to hug my best friend. She looked taller, tanner, and had on the cutest red and orange peasant top- definitely borrowable. "Miranda!" I cried joyfully. "What are doing here?"  
"We got back an hour ago," she replied, "and my parents dropped me off. I missed you so much!"  
"I missed you, too!" I exclaimed, so happy to see her again. "How was Mexico City? That top is so cute!"  
"Thanks," she said. "It was great. I got to see all my family again, but... I really wish I could have gone with you guys! By the way, I saw you on the IMVAs!"  
  
*Toon Lizzie- Ha! See, I was right. In your face, Gordo!*  
  
"Oh my gosh!" I gasped, sitting down in my butterfly chair. "What did you think?"  
"You were great," she complimented as she sat down on the edge of my bed. "That dress was awesome. Wasn't it the same color as the dress you wore to the spring formal? You know, the one that Danny Kessler thought you- "  
"Exactly," I answered quickly. "That's what I said!"  
"So, how's Gordo?" Miranda asked casually. So casually that I was sure she knew. How did she know?"  
"G-gordo," I repeated, my heart beginning to pound as I spoke. "W- what about Gordo?"  
"Yeah," Miranda said, looking at me like I was out of my mind. Which, by this point, I probably was. "Was he, like, videotaping everything he saw?"  
I sighed in relief. "Oh!" I exclaimed, smiling. "Yeah, kinda. We weren't really together that much. Gosh, Miranda, you really scared me. I thought you meant-" I stopped myself before I could say too much. "I thought you meant that... that you wanted to know what he thought of the performance. You know, on the IMVAs."  
"Um, Lizzie," Miranda said in a very unsettling way. "I have known you since before kindergarten and from experience I know you are the world's worst liar. Is there something you need to tell me?"  
"Why would you think that?" I asked, trying to sound all innocent and concerned. My heart was pounding again. I laughed nervously a little. "C- come on, Miranda. If you know me so well, what am I talking about?"  
"I don't know," she said coyly, looking around my bedroom, probably for a clue or something. "Yet. But I am going to find out." Before I could stop her, Miranda hit the speakerphone button on my phone and speed dial 2- Gordo's number, right after her own.  
"What?" we could hear Gordo ask groggily. I could tell she had just woken up. He has caller ID in his room, so he knew it was us.  
  
*Toon Lizzie- Beside, who else calls Gordo? It's Gordo.*  
  
"Gordo, it's me!" I yelled into the phone, so he'd be sure to hear me. "Don't listen to anything Miranda says! Don't answer any of her questions!"  
Just as Miranda started to talk, I panicked. She could not find out this way! "This is what dreams are made of!" I began to sing as loudly as I could, but I was very off key. "Have you ever seen such a beau-" Miranda stuffed a pillow in my mouth to muffle the sound.  
  
*Toon Lizzie- Mmrph.*  
  
"Sorry, Miranda," I heard Gordo say, so I could tell he was now fully awake and understood the situation. "You're not getting anything out of me. No. This is up to Lizzie. For once, this is up to Lizzie."  
Miranda whirled around to face me. "So it is something!" She pressed the button on the phone that hung it up.  
I have never been a big fan of confrontation. I slowly backed up to try to get out of the room, but on my way out I bumped into Matt as he walked into my room.  
"Watch it, slimeball," he said as I turned around, standing steadily again. He handed me the cordless phone from downstairs. "Phone for you. It's your bo-oy friend." As he ran off so I couldn't hurt him, he was singing at the top of his lungs, "Lizzie and Gordo, sitting in a tree. K-I- S-S-I-N-G."  
"What?" Miranda asked, sounding shocked and a little hurt at the same time.  
I clicked the cordless phone off and tossed it on my bed, forgetting that Gordo was on the other end.  
  
*Toon Lizzie- Why won't the floor just open up and swallow me whole?* 


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two  
  
Miranda was just standing in front of me, in total shock. I think more because I hadn't told her yet than because of what she'd found out. But I could be completely wrong.  
  
*Toon Lizzie-Aren't I always?*  
  
The cordless phone on my bed was ringing. I picked it up. "Hello?" I asked. I think I sounded more than a little annoyed, but why should I be? Thanks to my spiky headed brat of a brother, my best friend would probably hate me for life.  
"Why do you keep hanging up on me?" it was Gordo. Apparently he was upset about something.  
"Gordo, would you quit obsessing about the phone?" I said, sounding somewhat irritated. "We have an emergency on our hands that I can't deal with alone. Could you come over here, and quickly?"  
"Okay, I'll be right over," he replied, and hung the phone up. I tossed the phone back on my bed and just stood there, feeling like I was going to throw up.  
Five minutes later, Gordo walked into the room, still in his bathrobe, pajamas, and slippers. His hair was all rumpled and his cheek was really red, on the side he must have been sleeping on. Miranda and I were both in the same positions we'd been in when Gordo and I had gotten off the phone.  
"Gordo!" I exclaimed when I saw him. "Don't you have the decency to get dressed before you come over here?"  
"What?" he asked, like he didn't know there was a slight problem with the way he was dressed. "You told me it was an emergency."  
Letting his little problem go, I turned my attention back to the emergency at hand. "Miranda found out. I think you heard the Matt Brat's little song when he handed me the phone. She's still in shock."  
"I thought you said she was going to be happy for us," Gordo said, sounding more like he was asking a question than making a statement. He waved his hand in front of Miranda's face. "Anybody home?" She didn't respond.  
"Now she's never gonna forgive me," I said, feeling the tears come to my eyes and sting them. I sat down on my bed. "She's my best friend."  
"I'm not.....mad at you," Miranda said at last, sitting next to me on the bed. "I'm just surprised. Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
*Toon Lizzie- Because I was afraid that this was going to be how you would react. That's why.*  
  
"I didn't want you to freak out," I admitted. "Besides, it's not like anything's going to change. We're still best friends, like we always have been."  
  
"Of course everything's going to change!" Miranda exclaimed, laughing. "Just not between you and me. Or you and me and Gordo when we're all hanging out." I felt relieved to see her smile again. I would totally hate it if she was mad at me.  
"Man, I hope something's going to change," Gordo mumbled to himself.  
Miranda and I each grabbed a pillow and threw them at him. "Shut up, Gordo!" we both yelled at the same time.  
"Hey, you guys," Mom poked her head in the door. "I'm going to go pick up a pizza and some brownies and a bottle of soda for dinner, okay? I'll be back in a little while."  
"Okay, Mom," I replied. "See ya later."  
"You guys are welcome to stay for dinner," Mom added. Then she looked at Gordo kind of funny. "You, you kids have fun." She left the room, leaving the door open a crack.  
"You think she knows?" Miranda asked, turning to me. "She was acting kind of funny."  
"I don't know how she would have found out," I replied. "Matt was just making a joke, what he said before, with his twisted sense of humor. He doesn't know that."  
"You didn't tell your mom?" Gordo interrupted. "How am I the one out of the loop about this, here?"  
  
*Toon Lizzie- Hello? When was he ever in the loop?*  
  
"Of course I didn't tell her!" I exclaimed. "Maybe you haven't figured it out here, but this subject is not the easiest thing for me to talk to my parents about."  
"Do you notice how you keep avoiding saying what's really going on here?" Gordo asked analytically. That's what he gets for having two phsyciatrist parents. He sounded kind of frustrated. "You never just come out and say it. It's always 'us' or 'you and me' or 'this'. Never 'me and Gordo' or 'my boyfriend'. I am not afraid to say that you and me are going out."  
"Um, hi kids," Dad had walked into the room, and none of us had even noticed. "I just wanted to let you know I'm home, Lizzie."  
"Hi Dad," I said, looking at the floor. "Exactly how much of that did you hear?" I was mortified.  
"Oh, pretty much all of it," he replied, ducking out of my room. "And we'll talk about it later." He gave Gordo a strange look, kinda like the one Mom gave him a few minutes earlier, and left the door completely open.  
I smashed my head into the pillow and let out a loud scream. "Thanks a lot, Gordo," I said when I came up for air. "Now I can never look my father in the eye again."  
"Um, sorry?" he looked at Miranda for advice, but she had none to offer. And why should she? This was all his fault. "But, um, now I get it why you never just came out and said it."  
"Yeah, well now I have later to look forward to," I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes. "He's gonna tell Mom and she'll get all Dr. Phil on me and as soon as Matt finds out it'll all be over."  
"Um, Lizzie, you didn't expect to keep this a secret from your parents forever, did you?" Mirand reminded me. "Because there's no way you could have. When they're done reverse phsycologying you to death, they'll probably think it's all cute and everything."  
"Ugh," I shuddered. "That's the least thing I want. I can only hope. You guys, you have to stay as late as you can. I know that later meant after you guys go home."  
"We can't stay here for the rest of your life," Gordo stated, forever the bubble burster. "You'll have to talk to them sooner or later."  
"Hey!" Miranda exclaimed suddenly. "I just got a great idea! What if you talked to your parents with us in the room? I'm sure they'll want to talk to Gordo over there and I can remind them what a good and responsible daughter you are. It's a flawless plan."  
"Well, it would make it a lot easier on me," I said thoughtfully. "You guys would really do all that for me?"  
"Of course we would," Miranda assured me. "After we eat dinner. Since the heat's not on me, I can do most of the talking. It's just you and Gordo that have to do the worrying."  
"Hey, hey, hey," Gordo stepped in. "When did I agree to do all this?"  
  
"Thirty seconds ago," Miranda answered. "Now. We need to sound polite, and.....and charming! Gordo, you need to be very boyish. Agree with everything Lizzie's parents say."  
"Okay, so if they tell me to jump off a bridge-"  
"Then off the bridge you jump!"  
  
*Toon Lizzie- Well, this is definitely going to be interesting....* 


	3. Authors Note Slash Disclaimer Thingy

*Hey, and sorry~ In my hurry to get the first two chapters of my new story up, I totally forgot the little author's note slash disclaimer thingy! Sorry :) Anyway, from now on, I don't own Lizzie McGuire, the characters, Rome, the IMVAs, ect. but as soon as I get the money to buy them from Disney and such I promise all of you will be the first to know. Hope you enjoy the story, I love reviews!! Good or bad, they're all great. You can e-mail me directly at charmbracelet26@aol.com. Thanks, and enjoy the rest of the story! xoxo Nicole 


	4. Chapter Three

Hey everyone! Thanks for the reviews, I really appreciated them! Keep on reviewing so I know what you think. I still don't own anything, unfortunately :( but oh well. No surprise! Before I finally get on with the third chapter, I'd like to address some of the reviews... and you'd be amazed how just a few reviews can make your day :)  
  
Jannel- I'm *so* sorry for taking your idea! If I knew you had that idea, I totally would never have taken it! :) I hope you enjoy the story anyway. Nina- Here's your next chapter! Glad you like the story!! BeanieBear1- I'm SO glad you're liking the story!! I work really hard to keep the characters in character, and it's nice to know someone appreciates that :D Tic-Tac- The reason why Gordo hasn't been *too* enthusiastic is mainly because of his character's personality. He's never stricken me as the jumping up and down type, and maybe you'll see more of what you're looking for in chapters to come. And I'm happy it's cracking you up!! :)  
  
*While you're waiting for Chapter Four... here's a little game. Whoever's the first to e-mail me and tell me what Sam McGuire's profession exactly is gets a million dollars!*  
  
Anyway, on with Chapter Three! Hope you love it just as much, and thanks for the reviews!!  
  
Chapter Three  
  
Mom's voice traveled up to my bedroom from downstairs in the kitchen. "Lizzie! Gordo! Miranda! Dinner's ready!"  
  
*Toon Lizzie: And here we go.*  
  
I looked at my two best friends, letting out a deep, shaky breath. "Well, come on," I said nervously. "We've got to go down sometime."  
"Lizzie's right," Miranda said. "So come on, you guys. We're in this together...well, really the heat's more on you two, but I'm always here to help!"  
"What a great friend," I could hear Gordo mumble sarcastically over in the corner. We decided to ignore him, looping our arms together. When I reached out for Gordo, he wouldn't budge.  
"Gordo!" I exclaimed, frustrated already. "Come on!" I pulled on his arm a little harder.  
  
"I'm coming, I'm coming," he sighed, finally giving in. We trudged downstairs together, knowing exactly what was to come as soon as we took the last bites of our pizza and brownies.  
"So, kids, have you been having a good time?" Mom asked as we sat down at the table, blissfully unaware of what was really going on around here. Obviously Dad hadn't gotten the chance to tell him about what he heard upstairs, or she'd be acting ten times weirder than she normally does.  
"Um, yes," Miranda said, speaking for all three of us. Neither Gordo nor I were able to talk yet, for fear of the stupid things we might say if we tried. Besides, I'm sure Miranda liked it that way, too. She's always been able to.... deal with stuff better than we can. She's a lot more independent.  
"That's good," Mom replied, suddenly noticing the strange looks Dad was continuously giving Gordo. "Uh, Sam? Can I talk to you for a minute? In the other room?"  
  
*Toon Lizzie: And here's the part where Mom finds out. My life is way too predictable.  
  
Mom and Dad stepped out of the room for a minute, which turned our attention to Matt. He had been awfully quiet for the past few minutes, and if I know anything about my little brother, that is never a good thing.  
"You guys aren't gonna be, like, making out all the time are you?" Matt asked, giving Gordo a narrow look.  
"Uh! Ew! No!" I cried, surprised that Matt would even think of such a thing. "I mean, um, no. Not around you, anyway. And especially not anywhere that Mom and Dad could see. Could you imagine their reactions?"  
"Good," Matt replied gladly. "Kissing is so disgusting!"  
We all went back to eating our pizza when Mom and Dad returned. They both were looking at me and Gordo majorly strange as they sat back down to eat. We were all silent for the rest of the meal, with the exception of Matt, who was rambling on about some project he and Lanny were doing in Matt's room with a tube or a tub, I don't really remember. I didn't eat much, though. My stomach was in knots, knowing about the conversation that was to come.  
When we were all done eating and the kitchen was cleaned up, Miranda was, as always, the first to speak up. "Mr. McGuire, Mrs. McGuire. Can you guys come in the living room for a minute? We just want to talk."  
Mom's already worried expression became worse. "Well, sure, guys. Sam, come on."  
  
We all gathered in the living room. Mom and Dad sat on the loveseat, and Miranda, Gordo, and I sat on the couch. "Dad, you know how you wanted to have that, um, talk with me later?" I asked so nervously that my voice was almost shaking. "Can we, like, have it now?"  
"I don't know if that's such a good idea," Dad replied. "With your friends here.."  
"But you'd want to talk with Gordo in the room too!" Miranda pointed out quite loudly. "I mean, he's the one you guys have been looking at all funny all night, and he is the one your daughter's going to be-"  
I nudged Miranda with my elbow in her side-- hard. "Ow!" she cried out in pain.  
  
*Toon Lizzie: Sometimes, she just doesn't know when to shut up, does she?*  
  
"Miranda has a good point," Mom said, agreeing with my friend. "Why don't we have this talk now."  
"Great!" Miranda exclaimed, faking enthusiasm. "You both have known Lizzie as long as Gordo has, and I've known her almost that long. From the last twelve years we've been best friends, I've come to find out that your daughter is a very nice and responsible young lady." She was going a little over the top now, but if it worked...  
"Yes, we know that," Dad interrupted her speech. "But we just wanted to talk to Gordo and Lizzie."  
  
"Oh, I know," Miranda replied. "But I'm here to offer moral support to my friends, you know.."  
"Miranda?" Mom said pointedly. "Out. Until this conversation is over."  
"Okay, okay," she said, sighing. "Sorry, Lizzie, I tried." She got up from the couch and left the living room. I knew she wouldn't be listening in from too far away.  
"Now," Dad began, sounding very businesslike. "What I want to know is how long this....um, relationship has been going on."  
"Just since the end of the trip to Rome," I replied meekly, knowing that Gordo was going to keep his mouth clamped absolutely shut during this whole converstation if he could help it. Now, with Miranda gone, it was up to me to answer all the questions fired our way.  
"You know the rules we have, right?" Mom asked, and I could tell right away that she was going to be a lot easier to deal with than Dad. "I don't see a problem here, if you do. You've had a boyfriend before, so things should be fine."  
"Now I'm not so sure about this whole thing!" Dad spoke up. "Lizzie, I don't think you're old enough to be running around, having boyfriends and.."  
"Lizzie, Gordo," Mom said, smiling. "You can both go back upstairs with Miranda. Have fun."  
Relieved to be released from torture so quickly, Gordo and I both got up from the couch and hurried out of the room. Miranda was waiting by the door, listening in. We joined her to see what Mom and Dad were talking about in there.  
"Lizzie's too young to have a boyfriend," Dad was saying to Mom, and he sounded pretty serious.  
"Sam, come on," Mom said with a laugh. "This was bound to happen sooner or later. I could see it coming all along. She's fourteen. You can't lock her up forever."  
That was all we needed to hear.  
  
*Toon Lizzie: Sounds like things are going to be okay, after all. *  
  
We ran back upstairs to go into my bedroom. Everything still seemed normal until we walked into my bedroom. Our feet were immersed in five inches of water which was slowly filling up our shoes. Everything that had been on the floor of my room was totally soaked!  
"Matt!" I screamed angrily.  
  
*Toon Lizzie: When anything bad happens, Matt can't be too far.*  
  
Matt and Lanny, both of them wet from head to toe, walked into my bedroom. "My whole bedroom's flooded!" Matt exclaimed. Lanny nodded in agreement.  
"Don't act like you didn't have anything to do with it," I said. "If you tell me right now what happened, I'll try really hard not to hurt you. Even though I can't guarantee anything."  
"I didn't do it!" Matt protested loudly, as if I was doing him a complete injustice.  
"I don't think Matt did it!" Gordo called. He had already made it over to my bathroom, and was standing in the doorway. "Come here!"  
  
Miranda, Matt, Lanny, and I walked through the freezing water to where Gordo was standing. He was pointing to a toolkit laying on my bathroom counter.  
"Oh no!" I exclaimed, and immediately I took off running downstairs to the living room, leaving a trail of water behind me. "Mom, Dad fixed the plumbing in my bathroom again!"  
"Sam!" Mom cried frustratedly. " 


	5. Another Author Note Sorry!

Hey guys-  
  
To explain the abrupt end to my previous chapter, it turns out that my computer crashed and apparently did not save the ending to the chapter that I had just written ( I coulda sworn I saved it, oh well..) so I'll try to remember what I wrote and finish it up soon. It's late here, so it should be up tomorrow I think *which is the fourth* with possibly chapter four! Thanks for the reviews, you guys are all sweeties. keep reviewing and keep reading! Thanks!!  
  
xoxo Nicole* 


	6. End of Chapter Three and Chapter Four!

Thanks for all the great reviews! Keep reading, and keep reviewing everyone!! :)  
  
Chapter Three Continued AND Chapter Four  
  
Mom and Dad followed me upstairs to my room. Mom went with me into my room, and Dad went to inspect the damage done to Matt's. A few minutes later, Dad joined us all in my room, where we were all still very wet and if you were me, very angry.  
"Well, it looks like neither of you can sleep in your bedrooms until we get a plumber out here to fix things," Dad announced. "I guess we're going to have to keep you both in the living room together for the night. Together."  
"No!" I cried. "I am not sharing a living room with that brat! No way! I'd rather sleep in the basement."  
"That can be arranged," Matt said, Lanny giving him a silent thumbs up.  
"No, it can't," Mom said to him, clearly annoyed enough at the men in our family. "You can share the sofa bed. I'm sorry kids, but it looks like this is the way things have to be, at least for a couple of nights."  
"Ugh," I groaned as my parents, Matt, and Lanny left my bedroom. "This is terrible! He's probably going to make me watch Cartoon Network all night, and miss all the music videos on MTV."  
"It's not like you haven't seen them all a hundred times before," Gordo offered unhelpfully. I sighed and looked around at my wet room.  
"You guys better go home," I said unhappily. "I've got to get what I need out of here before the water level gets any higher, and I want to try to fall asleep before Matt can get to me."  
"Okay," my friends both agreed with a shrug and left the room.  
I looked around one more time. How could this have happened? This was... awful. I was going to have to share not only a living room but a SOFA BED with my dorky little brother for a few nights! Why does everything always happen to me?  
  
*Toon Lizzie- Let the games begin!*  
  
A few hours later, Matt and I were in the living room, trying to sort out our things and get comfortable. Mom and Dad were upstairs sleeping, and the house was dark and quiet.  
"I'll be back in a minute," Matt told me, leaving his pile of junk on his side of the sofa bed. "Don't let your dinky stuff touch my stuff." With that, he dissapeared from the room to go I don't know where.  
I sat down and layed Mr. Snuggles down next to my pillow. I grabbed the remote and flipped the TV channels until I reached MTV. I layed down and closed my eyes, pulling the blankets up to my chin and tried to get comfortable. Unfortunately, the sofa bed was uncomfortable and squeaked with every movement. I finally found a spot and hoped I'd fall asleep before Matt got back.  
Ten minutes later, I was still awake. Matt was still gone. Mom and Dad were still asleep. The house was still dark and quiet.  
  
*Toon Lizzie- Too quiet.*  
  
"Prepare to meet your match!" I heard Matt cry loudly, and his voice sounded very, very close. I opened my eyes and turned over just in time to see him drop a giant filled water balloon on my head.  
"Aaaa!" I screamed as a cold, blue liquid hit the bed and splattered all over me, my hair, the bed, and Mr. Snuggles. I sat up. "What was that?"  
  
"Calm down, you big baby!" Matt said. "It's just ice and blue Kool- Aid!"  
"Kool Aid?" I shreeked, jumping up and chasing him around the room. "My hair will be blue for the next two weeks! You little freak!" Unfortunately, my chasing attempts were to no avail. Just as I was about to catch him, Mom and Dad were rushing down the stairs to see what all the noise had been about.  
"Why aren't you two asleep?" Dad demanded groggily, looking quite angry that he had been awakened.  
"Lizzie, why is your hair blue? And what happened to the sheets?" Mom wanted to know.  
"Oh, I'll explain!" I yelled angrily. "I'll explain everything. Matt threw a huge Kool-Aid balloon on me when I wasn't expecting it!"  
"I could have waited until you were expecting it," Matt commented calmly. "But this was just so much more fun!"  
"All right, that's it," Dad said, now fully awake. "Lizzie, go upstairs and take a shower and put on new pajamas. Matt, go get me your full supply of Kool-Aid and water balloons-- now." He sounded like he meant business.  
I ran upstairs, got a towel and new pajamas, and got into the hot shower. I was able to wash all of the Kool-Aid off- but it left my blonde hair a light shade of blue. I felt miserable as I trooped back downstairs to find out where I would be spending the night.  
"Lizzie, your hair!" Mom exclaimed when she saw me walk into the room. "We'll take you to the hair place first thing tomorrow morning."  
"It better help," I grumbled, feeling very tired and very grouchy. "No way am I ever sleeping in the same room with him again."  
"Don't worry. You won't be," Dad assured me. "We've learned that from past experiences."  
"So where are we going to sleep?" Matt asked, draining the Kool-Aid from Mr. Snuggles.  
I snatched him away, rescuing him. "Yeah. Where are we going to sleep?"  
"Sam?" Mom asked, turning toward Dad. "Where are they going to sleep?"  
Dad looked uncomfortable. "Lizzie, you can stay down here on the couch. Matt.. you'll have to sleep with us."  
  
"And that means no more Kool-Aid," Mom said in a warning voice. "Or else." "The couch?" I grumbled to myself as my brother and my parents retreated upstairs. Matt gets my parents' comfortable bed and I get the couch?  
  
*Toon Lizzie- I must have done something in a past life to deserve all this.* 


	7. Chapter Five

Thanks for the reviews, everyone, and keep on reviewing! Sorry to keep you waiting so long for the fifth chapter, but I've really been busy and school started for me on Monday. I'll try to get chapter six up as soon as possible, hopefully by next weekend. I really love this story so I want to see what I can do with it. I still don't own anything :( but I'm in the process of trying to buy off Lizzie McGuire rights from Disney... no, I'm not. I'm only fourteen. But I can dream, can't I? Hmm.. well, here ya go!!  
  
Chapter Five  
  
I woke up the following morning with a stiff neck and my leg was still asleep. Ugh. Sure, many Friday nights had been spent sitting on this couch for hours on end with Gordo and Miranda watching movie marathons and MTV, but that was different. This was.... uncomfortable. I was going to get Matt, but I just didn't know how.  
It was already ten thirty, which was surprising since I usually sleep at least until noon. I got up from the couch and went upstairs to my bedroom to get dressed, but halfway there I remembered that it was flooded and I would probably have to dress in the bathroom. I went into the laundry room in the basement to see what I could find to wear. Fortunately, a pair of jeans and a tank top were waiting for me in the dryer. Mom must have been up already. She can never resist a hamper full of clothes.  
I went into the bathroom and put on the clothes, and looked at myself in the mirror. I needed make up.... and fast! Then I pulled my hair up into a ponytail and tucked it inside a pink baseball cap. When I was finished getting ready, I decided to walk down to Miranda's house a few doors down to see what she was doing. I knew Gordo would still be sleeping, so there was no use in waking him up. Sooner or later I knew he would show up at Miranda's looking for us.  
Miranda's mom answered the door. "Oh, hi, Lizzie," she said with a smile, letting me into her house. "Where's Gordo?" She looked at her watch and nodded. "Oooh. I can expect him here around two or so, right?"  
  
I laughed and ran upstairs to Miranda's room. Gordo always has been a notoriously late sleeper.  
"Hey, Lizzie!" Miranda greeted me when I knocked on the door. She was still in her orange leopard print pajamas and had been on her computer, instant messaging with someone. "Hey, I think Gordo wants to talk to you." She pointed in the direction of her red imac sitting on her very messy desk.  
"He's up? Wow," I marveled as I sat down and signed on to my own screen name. Sure enough, Gordo's screename was prominent on my buddy list.  
  
Shopaholic89: Gordo! Hey!  
  
DirectorGordo71: What's up?  
  
Shopaholic89: Nothing much.... why are you up so early?  
  
DirectorGordo71: My mom's counseling the rock music obsessor in the basement.  
  
Shopaholic89: Aaah... you don't need to say another word! When are you coming over?  
  
DirectorGordo71: I can't. I promised my dad I would go fly fishing with him this afternoon, and then I've got to go to my aunt's for dinner.  
  
Shopaholic89: Fly fishing? Gordo, since when does your father fly fish? Since when do you fly fish?  
  
DirectorGordo71: He went to a parenting seminar last weekend when he found out his physciatric seminar was cancelled. Father son bonding headtrip.  
  
Shopaholic89: Completely understand. Sorry we can't see you, though!  
  
DirectorGordo71: Wish I could come over... Three hours in a rickety boat listening to my dad sing old showtunes and tell stories about his childhood summers working in his father's supermarket while getting bit by mosquitos... not exactly the kind of day I had in mind.  
  
Shopaholic89: LOL. Poor thing. Why were there mosquitos in the supermarket?  
  
DirectorGordo71: There weren't.  
  
Shopaholic89: So why did you say that?  
  
DirectorGordo71: I'm the one that's going to get bitten by mosquitos.  
  
Shopaholic89: Oh, LOL. Well, sorry you can't come over!!  
  
DirectorGordo71: Me too. Hey, what are you doing tomorrow night?  
  
Shopaholic89: Ummm... nothing, why?  
  
DirectorGordo71: Well, we haven't had an official first date yet, so...  
  
Shopaholic89: OMG! That sounds great!!! What are we gonna do??  
  
DirectorGordo71: I don't know.. you wanna go see a movie?  
  
Shopaholic89: That is absolutely perfect! Can you come by around seven?  
  
DirectorGordo71: Yeah. Hey, gotta go get dressed. Time to fly fish. They should call it mosquito fish.  
  
Shopaholic89: Okay. Have fun with your dad! Bye.  
  
DirectorGordo71: Okay. Bye.  
  
DIRECTORGORDO71 HAS SIGNED OFF. SHOPAHOLIC89 HAS SIGNED OFF.  
  
"First official date, huh?" Miranda asked, who had been looking over my shoulder as I typed. "How cute!"  
"If there is one thing I ask from you," I began, "it is that you do not treat me like my parents do. My mom thinks it's sooo cute... she hasn't come out and say it yet, but... I know that's what she's thinking."  
"What is with those dark circles under your eyes?" Miranda looked closer at my face. "You look like you slept about three hours last night."  
"Yeah. Well, Matt and I were going to share the pull out sofa, but he got Kool-Aid all over me and all over it, so I had to sleep on the couch."  
"That explains the hat. I thought you were just trying out a new look..."  
"You think I'd wear a hat like this if I didn't have to?"  
"You should sleep here tonight if your room's still flooded."  
  
*Toon Lizzie: I am so there. Beats looking like a smurf.*  
  
"Thank you, Miranda!" I exclaimed, hugging her and jumping up and down. "My parents have to say yes! This is going to be awesome!! Let me go call my mom."  
I went over to Miranda's night stand and got her cordless phone out of the holder, sitting down on her bed. "Hey, Mom," I said when my mother answered the phone. "Can I stay over at Miranda's til my room is back to normal?"  
"That would be fine, sweetie," Mom replied. "But you need to come over here to get your stuff, and I made a hair appointment for you in an hour."  
"Thanks, Mom," I said. "I'll be over in a minute." I hung up the phone and turned to Miranda. "I've gotta go to the hair place and pack my stuff, but I'll be here before dinner." "We're going to have so much fun!" Miranda squealed. "We haven't had a real sleep over party in forever!" 


	8. Chapter Six

OK, guys, thanks for the reviews and I hope you liked the last chapter! I don't know how far I'm going to go with this story, but I know it'll be at least ten chapters!! :D Enjoy, and keep reviewing! xoxo nicole*  
  
Chapter Six  
  
"Your hair. It's so.. blue," was the first thing Wendy, the woman that was supposed to be fixing my hair, said when she saw me. "How did this happen?"  
"My little brother," I exclaimed, rolling my eyes. "It's blue Kool- Aid. Is there any hope left for me, or am I ruined forever?"  
"Not forever," Wendy assured me. "It does look a little sticky. Good thing you wore a hat. Bees fly to that stuff like it was honey."  
  
"That's the last thing I need," I replied with a sigh. "Can you make my hair go back to normal?"  
  
"Well, I will certainly try," Wendy said. "I think we should wash and condition your hair, run some blonde enhancing gel through it while it's wet, and then blow dry. If that doesn't work, we're going to have to either dye your hair its original color, or you're going to have to learn to love baseball caps for the next two weeks."  
  
*Toon Lizzie- Love baseball caps? No way!*  
  
Wendy washed and conditioned my hair, and then ran the blonde goo through it and brushed and blow dried it straight. It was still a little blue, so after getting Mom's permission, she dyed it the exact same color as my hair was before. When it was done, I looked just like I did before, and she gave me a little bottle of extra dye in case Matt decided to pull another evil prank on me and my hair before my hair was normal again.  
When we were done at the salon, Mom took me home to pack my things. The water had been drained from the floor, but there were still little puddles of water around and the floor was all wet, as were the bottoms of my dressers and the things that had been on the floor when the flooding began. Fortunately, all of my clothes and shoes were fine, so I packed enough things for two or three days, and then Mom dropped me off at Miranda's.  
"Hi, Lizzie," Mrs. Sanchez greeted me at the door. "We're so glad you can be staying with us! Your mom told us all about what Matt did."  
"Thanks for letting me stay here," I replied politely. "I don't think I could last another night on the living room couch."  
"We ordered Chinese for dinner, and Miranda's upstairs in her room on the phone," she said, gesturing towards the stairs. "Why don't you go up? She's been excited about your little sleep over party."  
I smiled and nodded and ran upstairs, wondering who Miranda could be on the phone with. When she saw me come into her room with my overnight bag, she smiled and held the phone to her shoulder. "Hey, Liz! Gordo's on the phone. He probably wants to talk to you." She handed me the phone and took my bag, leaving it on the floor by her bed.  
"Hey," I said, taking the phone from Miranda. "It's me. I thought you were going to your aunt's for dinner tonight or something?"  
"I was," replied Gordo, sounding like he had a slightly stuffy nose. "Until my dad got so excited about finally catching a fish that he knocked me out of the boat. I fell into the water, and I've got a cold."  
"How do you get a cold from warm water?" I asked, confused. "It's summer in California. It's not exactly Alaska out here."  
"I'm just as confused as you are," Gordo answered. "I'm really sorry, but I have to cancel on tomorrow."  
  
"Oh no!" I exclaimed, feeling really disappointed. "I was really looking forward to tomorrow night!"  
"Me too. Hey, I gotta go. My mom wants me to go to bed early. Tell Miranda bye."  
"Okay. I'll call you tomorrow to see how you're doing."  
I hung up the phone and turned to Miranda. "He had to cancel our date because he's sick," I said with a sigh. "I was really looking forward to it."  
"Awww, that's too bad," Miranda said, looking sorry for both of us. "A sleepover is just what you need to make you feel better!"  
"You know what? I think you're right!" I stated optimistically with a smile. "We're going to have a great time! Where do we start? Mall?"  
"Mall," Miranda confirmed, smiling, and off we went to beg her parents for a ride.  
Hours later, we returned from the mall, loaded down under the weight of all our shopping bags. Miranda's parents had just gone to bed after they'd gotten home from picking us up, so the house was silent and still. We got into our pajamas and went downstairs in the living room with our sleeping bags and sat down on top of them.  
"Let's play truth or dare!" I suggested as soon as I thought of the idea. It sounded like fun, and we were having a good old classic sleepover, weren't we?  
"Truth or dare?" Miranda asked, saying the words like she just wanted to get them over with. "I haven't played that since, like, sixth grade!"  
"I just thought it sounded like fun..."  
  
"It does! We'll play. Only if I can go first."  
"Oh, fine. Go ahead."  
"Okay..... truth or dare?"  
"Umm..... truth!"  
"Let's see... what's your deepest, darkest secret?"  
"I've already told you all of mine!"  
  
*Toon Lizzie- Except for one...*  
  
"Okay, um, then... how long have you liked Gordo and how long do you think he's liked you?"  
A Gordo question. I knew she was going to come out with one of these. That Miranda, she is so predictable sometimes. Even though I knew the answer to at least the first question, I pretended to be thinking long and hard about my answer. That way, if I took my time, maybe she'd get bored and move on, or a diversion would be created and we'd forget all about truth or dare.  
But from the way Miranda was staring at me, impatiently waiting for me to answer her, I could tell that she wasn't going to let this go. So I decided to answer her honestly, since she's my best friend and I know she's not going to tell anyone anything that's discussed at a sleepover party.  
  
*Toon Lizzie- Yeah. It's part of the girl code.*  
  
"Since fourth grade," I admitted, blushing a little. "And I don't know the answer to the other question."  
"Fourth grade?!" Miranda questioned, seemingly surprised at my answer. "Fourth grade! And no one tells me this because...."  
"You knew about it then. I told you, remember?"  
"Well, yeah... but I thought that when Ethan moved here in the end of the year you started liking him and not Gordo."  
"Um, kind of... I don't know. Can't we move on to your truth or dare now?"  
"No. I asked you another question! How long do you think Gordo's liked you?"  
  
"Uh, I, um," I began nervously. I had no idea what I should say. I only figured it out at Ethan's murder mystery party, but Kate had to point it out to me. That was almost two months ago. "Two months, I think, two months."  
Miranda began to laugh so hard she almost spit out her coke. "Two months? Why in the world do you think it was only two months?"  
"Well, that's when Kate told me, anyway," I replied. "I didn't know before then, if he did like me before then...."  
"Kate told you?" Miranda asked wonderously, with a lot more surprise in her voice than I would ever have suspected.  
"Yeah, remember, the murder mys-" I stopped myself when I realized that all that time, Miranda had been in Mexico City on early vacation with her family. She didn't know about anything that had happened before Rome after she had left! "I can't believe I totally forgot to tell you about everything! Oh my gosh!"  
"Please do! It's got to be interesting..."  
"Okay. It all started at the murder mystery party Ethan was hosting at my house, because his was all bug-gassed out. Anyway, the whole night, Gordo was trying to impress me, but I didn't know it yet. When I was just about to win, Kate pulled me into my room and told me how everyone knew that he liked me but me. So I let him win."  
"Wow. You leave town for a month, and all the exciting things happen...."  
"That's not even the end of it! We were talking out on my front porch, and he was just about to tell me how he felt about me when Dad came out and interrupted us. But then at school, on the last day, he wrote this really sweet thing in my yearbook that explained exactly how he felt. So I kissed him during the school picture."  
"You didn't! I don't believe you!"  
"They sent you your yearbook and your class picture in the mail, didn't they?"  
"Well, yeah, they're upstairs on my desk. I haven't gotten a chance to look through it yet, though."  
"I'll be right back!" I called behind me as I ran up the stairs and retrieved Miranda's yearbook. I sat back down and pulled the class picture, which had been printed on a piece of photo paper and stuck in a plastic sleeve, and pointed to where Gordo and I had been standing.  
"Wow. You really did it!"  
"Yeah. That was only the first time."  
"What?"  
"Well, Rome was the only other time I kissed him. He's never kissed me."  
"Never?"  
"Nope. I've kissed him, though, so I guess it's the same thing."  
  
*Toon Lizzie- It is, right?*  
  
"I guess..."  
"Girls!" Mrs. Sanchez came down the stairs to see us still wide awake and talking, and already it was past midnight. "You two better get some sleep, okay?"  
We nodded and called back to her that we would, and she went back to bed.  
Of course we wouldn't.  
  
A/N. Hope you liked that one, I know it was a little boring, but I needed a filler chapter for what's going to happen next in the story. I think you'll like it, it's going to be the main conflict in the story. You might not like it while you read it, but you'll figure things out when everything gets resolved again. I'll get the next chapter out ASAP, keep reading and keep reviewing! Love ya!! xoxo nicole* 


	9. Chapter Seven

Hey everyone! Thanks for the reviews and putting up with my filler chapter. Here's the next chapter! :) Hope you enjoy!! Keep reading, and keep reviewing :D xoxo nicole*  
  
Chapter Seven  
  
The next day Miranda and I woke up around 2 in the afternoon, because we'd spent the entire night up talking. I decided that instead of calling Gordo, I would surprise him by showing up at his house, so I got dressed and said good bye to Miranda and her family and set off in the direction of the Gordon's.  
On the way there, I thought that he would appreciate a strawberry banana smoothie since his throat hurt, and getting myself one couldn't harm anything, either. So I took a little detour to the Digital Bean and ordered two smoothies. While I waited, I looked around at the people there. It was relatively quiet for a summer day, especially since teenagers are their biggest group of customers. I was served the smoothies and turned around, finding myself face to face with Ethan.  
"Hey, Ethan," I greeted him, holding the two very cold to-go cups in both of my hands, trying to balance my purse on one shoulder. "What's up?"  
He looked kind of upset. "My dad, he, like, decided to move to Paris. And he wants me to, um, come with him."  
"What?" I asked, shocked, my jaw dropping almost to the ground. "Oh my gosh! Are you going to go?"  
"I don't know," Ethan replied. "I came here to think."  
  
*Toon Lizzie- Well, there's a first time for everything...*  
  
"Do you want to talk?" I asked, thinking that I could take a few minutes away from my visit with Gordo to help out a friend.  
"Okay," Ethan agreed. We sat down at a table.  
"Do you have a choice whether you can stay or not?" I wondered out loud, hoping to help him make his decision. Knowing Ethan, I knew that would be especially hard for him.  
"Well, like, I can stay here with my mom, or I can go with my dad and Tawny. But, I haven't lived with my mom in forever, and my dad... I've like, lived with him for a long time."  
"Oohhh... well, I know you'll make the right decision, Ethan. You can always call if you want to talk, but I gotta go. Gordo's sick, and I'm bringing him a smoothie."  
"Tell Gor-don I said hey," Ethan said, and we both stood up. He gave me a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for helping out, Lizzie. You're a good friend."  
I smiled. "No problem, Ethan."  
I turned around, taking the smoothies in my hand, and started to walk to the back of the Digital Bean to leave for Gordo's house. But blocking the doorway was Gordo himself.  
"Hey," I said with a smile, handing him his smoothie. "I was just on my way to your house. Are you feeling any better?"  
"Well, I was," he answered, his face stone. "Until I saw you here with Ethan."  
Without giving me any time to reply, he turned and walked out of the Digital Bean. 


	10. Chapter Eight

Hey everyone! So sorry I haven't written and have been keeping you in suspense for so long, I've just been so busy with school and everything. I promise to try to regulate my chapters a little bit better from now on, and I'll try to post stuff up more often. Read and review, and enjoy!!! Constructive criticism and ideas are always accepted. You can e-mail me directly at charmbracelet26@aol.com, or IM me (AOL or AIM only) at charmbracelet26. Anyway, on with the next chapter! xoxo nicole*  
  
For a minute, I stood there in shock. I couldn't believe what had just happened. What did he think just happened? Did he just think what happened is what I'm thinking he thought what happened? I was confusing myself, so I shook my head of questions and tried to think logically.  
  
AL: Gordo just left, and you're just standing there. Go on, do something!  
  
I had to do something. He just left the Digital Bean! I had to chase after him. Without taking any more time to think, I pushed through the doors and ran outside on to the sidewalk. I looked both ways down the sidewalk, wondering which way he would have gone. But already, he had dissappeared. There was no trace of him anywhere.  
  
AL: Either I've been thinking for a really long time, or he's a really fast runner for a sick guy.  
  
Realizing that my boyfriend of less than seventy two hours was gone, out of my reach, because of something I did (really, didn't do). It was my fault. Everything was my fault. The words kept echoing through my head. It's your fault, Lizzie. It's your fault. Your fault. Gordo's hurt, and it's all your fault.  
My head was spinning, my stomach was as well. Nothing made sense, I couldn't think or plan or anything. In a single instant, because of one single choice that was made, because of a single thing I did, everything was....different. My relationship with my best friend was ruined, and it didn't even stop there. My life was ruined, Gordo's life was ruined.  
Maybe I was getting ahead of myself, maybe I was being overly dramatic like I always am. But maybe this time was the one time when I would be right to overanalyze things. Maybe for once in my life, overanalyzation would help me find the answer. The right answer to my problems.  
No matter how much I tried to ignore or deny it, I was weighed down with a thousand pounds of guilt in less than five minutes. That stupid little voice in the back of my head... Lizzie....it's all your fault.... you've broken Gordo's trust... you've broken Gordo's heart.... you've broken your own heart.... it's all your fault, Lizzie..... your fault.... nothing will ever be the same, Lizzie....nothing will ever be the same...  
The voices became too much for me, so much that I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to do something, so I did the first logical thing that came to mind.  
"AAAAAAAAAAH!" I let out a loud, drawn out scream. People quickly passing by on the street gave me looks like I was insane, and by this point, I probably was. But that didn't bother me. For once, I didn't care what other people thought or said about me. This time, it was about Gordo.  
I was panting, like I had been running miles and miles, when really I hadn't moved from my spot on the sidewalk. I looked down at the pink and silver bracelet watch on my wrist. Ten minutes had passed since Gordo left me at the Digital Bean, ten minutes and counting. Now that I had regained my sanity, I was beginning to become self conscious... I had to leave. I had to get out of there.... I had to be anywhere, anywhere but here.  
Those words seemed familiar to me, like old friends that I was revisiting with after a short time of being apart from them. Anywhere but here. Anywhere but here. Where had I heard those words in that sequence before? Slowly but surely, the lyrics of a song I heard once on the radio started coming to me.  
  
iI'm falling through the door br Flying across the floor br When you look at me br Suddenly it's clear br You're burning up my dreams br Crazy as it seems br  
  
I don't wanna be anywhere but herebr/i  
  
It was a song I knew well, could play back over and over again in my head. Who had sung that song? Oh, yeah... that Hilary Duff girl.  
  
AL: In my opinion, that Hilary Duff is a musical genius. Not too bad looking, either. I'd kill for that hair!  
  
I shook the lyrics from my head, searching from some other kind of reassurance. Any other time, I'd love that song, but today, right this second and the seconds that passed, their words seemed to be making fun of me. Stupid song. That was about wanting to be exactly where she was. I wanted to be exactly not where I was. There was only one way to accomplish that, and that was to leave.  
Taking a deep breath, I started walking aimlessly down the sidewalk. I chose to go right, and walked along, trying to clear my head. I didn't know where I was going or what I would do when I got there, but as soon as I could look back and see that the Digital Bean had dissappeared from my vision, I felt relieved. I even smiled a little bit to myself, and then remembering why I wanted to get out of there, my heart plunged back into the depths of depression.  
My feet rhythmically tapped the sidewalk, my heels clicking as I walked. They seemed to be making noises to a beat, the beat of a song. Another song I knew. A song I recognized... was it from a movie? Yes, I decided, it was from a song I knew from a movie I'd watched that I liked...  
  
iI'm falling down br Try and stop me br It feels so good to hit the ground br You can watch me br Falling on my face br It's an uphill human race br I'm falling down br /i  
  
Avril Lavigne, my inner pop culture genius told me. From Sweet Home Alabama. I remembered when I'd gone to see that movie, the summer before eighth grade when it was in theaters. It was hard to believe that was a whole year ago. I laughed to myself, thinking about how if, a year ago, someone would have told me that I'd go to Rome, make a singing sensation of myself there, and be dating Gordo, I would never have believed them. I would have thought whoever told me that was out of their minds.  
That day seemed so clear to me. It was a Monday afternoon, and I had just been freed of my babysitting duties to Matt. Mom volunteered to drive me and my friends to the movies as a sort of a reward for helping out. I got right on the phone and called Gordo and Miranda, who both were allowed to go.  
The movies were quiet that afternoon, since it was about 2:00, and a beautiful summer day outside. Everyone was either at the beach or a waterpark, doing something fun and exciting. Almost half the day was wasted, but I knew I was going to have fun because I was going to see a movie I'd been dying to see since the previews first started playing, and besides, even if the movie was horrible I'd still be spending the afternoon with my two best friends in the world.  
We zipped through the ticket line and got our popcorn and sodas and candy faster than we ever had before. When we walked into the theater, the lights were still on and the previews hadn't even started yet. I remember thinking in amazement that this was the earliest I'd ever been to a movie in my entire life. There were some people in the theater already, but more and more filled in as we sat down and got comfortable. I remember how we were sitting, Miranda, me, and Gordo, center in the farthest back row.  
  
i"Sssh, you guys, you're gonna miss the movie!" Gordo warned Miranda and Lizzie, who were still whispering about the cute guys sitting in the row in front of them.  
"That one's got more freckles than his friend," Miranda commented in a whisper. "I'll take him, and you can have his friend."  
Lizzie giggled. "No, I want him. You can have his friend."  
"Rachel. Monica. Shut up." Gordo interrupted angrily. "Like either one of you would ever work up the nerve to talk to them!"  
"What do you care, Gordo?" Lizzie asked. "This is a chick flick. I thought you hated chick flicks."  
"Yeah," Miranda added. "I thought you liked those stupid movies with subtitles."  
"SSSSH!" The two cute guys in the front row turned around, looking at the trio angrily. They turned back around, and Lizzie and Miranda dissolved into quiet, unresolved giggles.  
"Sorry," Lizzie squeaked, sliding down into her seat as to hide herself in embarrassment. "We'll listen to you next time, Gordo."  
Miranda, holding the tub of popcorn, nudged Lizzie. "You take this, or I'll eat it all before the previews are over."  
Lizzie took the tub of popcorn and settled it on the seat between her and Gordo. They both grabbed for a handful at the same time, their hands brushing together. Lizzie quickly yanked her hand away and stared at the movie screen, her heart pounding. /i  
  
That was when the scene with that song began. That was why that memory was so vivid to me. It made more sense, now that we were together. Or maybe I should say, now that we used to be together.  
  
i If fear's what makes us decide br Our future's journey br I'm not along for the ride br Cause I'm still yearning br To try and touch the sky br My finger's burning br Before you're old you're young br Yet I'm still learning br /Ia  
  
I smiled at the memory and at my thirteen year old self. I seemed so young then, and it seemed like that was forever ago, at the same time it felt like yesterday. When did life begin to get so complicated?  
  
i Have you ever been low? br Have you ever had a friend that let you down so br When the truth came out br Were you the last to know br Because what you did was low br/i  
  
Another memory involving Gordo began to come to me. This time, it was the beginning of eighth grade. I felt a little tinge in my heart remembering how awful it felt to have my heart broken for the first time.  
  
"Ronnie broke up with me," Lizzie explained through her tears.  
"He's a loser," Gordo assured her.  
"No, Gordo, I'm the loser," she replied. "He likes another girl. She's probably prettier than me and smarter than me and more fun to be with."  
"No, she's not," Gordo promised.  
"How do you know?"Lizzie demanded.  
"Because there's no one that's prettier than you or more fun to be with," Gordo answered reasonably.  
"You forgot smarter," she reminded him.  
"I was including myself in that," he said, smiling.  
She smiled. "Thanks, Gordo. You're a really good friend."  
"Yeah, well," he sighed, and then stopped talking.  
"What?"  
"Nothing."  
"Gordo, what?"  
"Nothing," he persisted.  
Lizzie stood up and took a deep breath, smiling.  
  
Gordo, always there for me, no matter what. He had trusted me to be there for him, and I had let him down. Even if indirectly, unintentionally, I had still let him down, and it still felt like it was my fault.  
I continued to walk, and looking around at my surroundings, I realized that I was barely a half a mile from the Digital Bean. I had been walking pretty slowly, so that was no big surprise. Pretty soon, it would start to get dark, and I would have to go back to Miranda's house. And then what? Then what would I do?  
There wasn't much at this point that I could do to salvage the situation. It felt like too much time had passed to start doing something about it. Maybe this was some silent way of telling me that Gordo and I weren't meant to be. Maybe all relationships run their course, and though it was short, this one had run its. Maybe I should just give up on Gordo.  
  
iI can't take it br I miss you even more br And I can't fake it br The way I could before br I hate you but I love you br I can't stop thinking of you  
  
It's true br I'm stuck on youbr /i  
  
Give up on Gordo? That would be a first. I'd never given up on him before....not when he was so into playing Dwarflord, not when he was obsessed with the documentary crew that had been in town taping him in seventh grade. And he'd never given up on me. Not when I never would shut up about Ronnie, not when I turned bad in seventh grade, not even when I got so caught up in competing with Kate or trying to get Ethan's attention so many times that always ended up backfiring on me. I couldn't do this to him, and deep down I knew it was because he'd never give up on me, even after this. Even after I'd treated him this way.  
I had to do something. I needed someone's help. And I knew the perfect person to ask.... 


	11. Chapter Nine

Now that I had a definite destination in mind, I had more motivation and it was easier to hold my head up and continue walking. It was nearing dinnertime, and coming from the direction most people in Hillridge take to get to the main area of resturaunts in town, I noticed a lot more people outside. Pushing through the quickly filling sidewalks, I made my may through the crowds and turned on the quiet street I was looking for.  
Things around me were becoming more and more familiar now, the tall looming houses seemed friendly. I passed three and four story houses made of every type brick imaginable. Circular driveways with expensive-looking cars parked in them lay before steep brick staircases with wrought iron banisters. Bay windows with expensive curtains hanging in them shielded the people inside the houses from the outside world.  
I easily found the quiet road in the back of the neighborhood that I needed and walked down the sidewalk until I reached the house who's owner I was in search of. I walked up the stone path leading to the big oak door which served as an entrance to the tall, three story modern brick house. I rang the doorbell, it's chimes echoing back to me as if saying welcome.  
A few moments later, the front door slowly opened, and there stood the only person in the world who could help put my broken relationship with Gordo back together. She was the first person to make me realize the hidden feelings I had toward my best friend, the only person besides my family and my two best friends who's known me almost all my life, the person who acted as a staple for me as my best (girl) friend.  
Yes, that's right. I was visiting Kate.  
  
AL: Kate? Kate?! You're kidding me! You know as soon as she opens that door she's gonna insult you from here to Canada, and then she'll spread nasty, dirty rumors about-  
  
"Lizzie!" Kate greeted me warmly with a smile. "You look upset. Let's sit down on the porch swimng and you can tell me all about it, okay?"  
  
AL: Woah. Rome really works for her! She should go more often.  
  
"Hey, thanks," I said, a little taken aback by her extreme amount of friendliness. I could really sense a change in her because of that.  
We sat down on the creaky old wooden porch swing, painted white and hung by chains to the top of the awning over the front porch. Many memories of my early childhood took place on this swing, in this house, on this front yard, and they seemed as if they had happened just yesterday....  
  
iIt was summer, the summer after third grade. Lizzie, Kate, and Miranda were sitting on the porch swing, which looks much newer and less worn that in present times. The girls are all nine years old, except for Kate, who of course is secretly ten.  
"Mmm," Lizzie proclaimed, taking another bite of her quickly melting fudgesicle, which had begun to drip on to the lap of her denim overall shorts. "These are so good. I could eat them all day."  
"Me, too," Miranda agreed, taking the last bite of her own. "I can't believe the summer is almost over. We've been having so much fun."  
Kate nodded, taking dainty licks from her fudgesicle. "I have a question, though. Are you guys as nervous about fourth grade as I am?"  
"I'm not nervous!" Miranda exclaimed. "We are gonna have so much fun. We'll be some of the oldest kids in the whole school...almost as old as the fifth graders!"  
  
"I don't know, Miranda," Lizzie said, biting her lip nervously. "I'm not so sure. I heard the fifth graders beat the fourth graders up for no reason last year."  
"I have an idea," Kate quickly said with conviction. "Let's make a pact. Let's promise that no matter what happens to us in fourth grade, we'll always stay friends."  
Each of the three girls put their hands on top of each other's. "Best friends forever!" they screamed out all at once at the top of their lungs, and giggling they leapt off the front porch to chase each other between the quickly falling raindrops./i  
  
"Well, it all started at the Digital Bean," I began slowly. "I stopped there to get Gordo a smoothie for his throat because he was sick." I stopped for a minute and smiled at the thought of the two smoothies I bought that were probably still sitting on the table melting at the Digital Bean. "Anyway, I ran into Ethan there. He was having a problem and looked pretty upset."  
Kate nodded, and I took that as my cue to continue speaking. "Well, I sat down for a second to try to help him, and I guess I did, so he gave me a hug to thank me. Just as he was doing that, Gordo walked in and saw him."  
"And I bet he thought you were doing something you weren't doing," Kate finished sympathetically. "Lizzie, I'm so sorry."  
"Thanks," I said, nodding. "I don't know why he would think that right away without giving me a chance to explain or anything. Gordo's usually so logical with his decisions... I don't know why this time was so different. It just doesn't make any sense to me."  
"Can't you see, Lizzie?" Kate asked patiently, as if she were speaking to a little child. "Gordo cares about you so much, he can't stand to see you with another guy. He's probably so worried about losing you now that you're his girlfriend that he got scared. Lizzie, I wouldn't be surprised if he said he loved you."  
  
iDon't you see it? Don't you see what's happening here?" Kate prodded impatiently the night of the murder mystery party, still speaking in her fake British accent.  
"I see that Gordo's trying to beat me!" Lizzie exclaimed, annoyed.  
"Well, that's partly it!" Kate answered, exasperated, switching back to her normal voice. "Gordo's human. He's probably just tired of being a doormat."  
"And he's sick of being the low key best friend that nobody notices," Lizzie returned logically.  
"He doesn't want just anyone to notice him," Kate explained with emphasis. "He wants you to notice him."  
"Me? Why me?" Lizzie thought for a second after asking.  
"Everyone at school can tell," Kate went on. "Gordo's had a crush on you for, like, ever. You've just been paying too much attention to Ethan to notice. So do him a favor and yourself a favor, and.... I'll pay attention to Ethan."  
"I- I've gotta go," Lizzie stammered nervously, flushed. "I've gotta go reveal the, um, killer person guy."/i  
  
"Wow," I said thoughtfully. "Loves me? You think so? Kate, I've gotta go find him! I hope it's not too late already!"  
"Too late?" Kate repeated. "I don't think it would ever be too late for Gordo to forgive you for anything, especially if you didn't do it."  
"Thank you so much for all your help, Kate," I exclaimed, hurrying up from the swing. "You helped me realize exactly what I have to do. Bye!"  
  
"Wait, Lizzie!" Kate called after me. She looked up at the sky, which was now overcome with dark clouds promising a heavy downpour of rain any second now. "Do you think you're gonna make it?"  
I shrugged. "If I run. But I will never be able to live with myself if I don't at least try."  
"Okay," Kate replied. "Go! Now! And good luck!"  
I took off running down the driveway and on to the street. I was in for the biggest and most confusing rollercoaster of my entire life. 


	12. Chapter Ten

Now that I had a definite destination in mind, I had more motivation and it was easier to hold my head up and continue walking. It was nearing dinnertime, and coming from the direction most people in Hillridge take to get to the main area of resturaunts in town, I noticed a lot more people outside. Pushing through the quickly filling sidewalks, I made my may through the crowds and turned on the quiet street I was looking for.  
Things around me were becoming more and more familiar now, the tall looming houses seemed friendly. I passed three and four story houses made of every type brick imaginable. Circular driveways with expensive-looking cars parked in them lay before steep brick staircases with wrought iron banisters. Bay windows with expensive curtains hanging in them shielded the people inside the houses from the outside world.  
I easily found the quiet road in the back of the neighborhood that I needed and walked down the sidewalk until I reached the house who's owner I was in search of. I walked up the stone path leading to the big oak door which served as an entrance to the tall, three story modern brick house. I rang the doorbell, it's chimes echoing back to me as if saying welcome.  
A few moments later, the front door slowly opened, and there stood the only person in the world who could help put my broken relationship with Gordo back together. She was the first person to make me realize the hidden feelings I had toward my best friend, the only person besides my family and my two best friends who's known me almost all my life, the person who acted as a staple for me as my best (girl) friend.  
Yes, that's right. I was visiting Kate.  
  
AL: Kate? Kate?! You're kidding me! You know as soon as she opens that door she's gonna insult you from here to Canada, and then she'll spread nasty, dirty rumors about-  
  
"Lizzie!" Kate greeted me warmly with a smile. "You look upset. Let's sit down on the porch swimng and you can tell me all about it, okay?"  
  
AL: Woah. Rome really works for her! She should go more often.  
  
"Hey, thanks," I said, a little taken aback by her extreme amount of friendliness. I could really sense a change in her because of that.  
We sat down on the creaky old wooden porch swing, painted white and hung by chains to the top of the awning over the front porch. Many memories of my early childhood took place on this swing, in this house, on this front yard, and they seemed as if they had happened just yesterday....  
  
It was summer, the summer after third grade. Lizzie, Kate, and Miranda were sitting on the porch swing, which looks much newer and less worn that in present times. The girls are all nine years old, except for Kate, who of course is secretly ten.  
"Mmm," Lizzie proclaimed, taking another bite of her quickly melting fudgesicle, which had begun to drip on to the lap of her denim overall shorts. "These are so good. I could eat them all day."  
"Me, too," Miranda agreed, taking the last bite of her own. "I can't believe the summer is almost over. We've been having so much fun."  
Kate nodded, taking dainty licks from her fudgesicle. "I have a question, though. Are you guys as nervous about fourth grade as I am?"  
"I'm not nervous!" Miranda exclaimed. "We are gonna have so much fun. We'll be some of the oldest kids in the whole school...almost as old as the fifth graders!"  
  
"I don't know, Miranda," Lizzie said, biting her lip nervously. "I'm not so sure. I heard the fifth graders beat the fourth graders up for no reason last year."  
"I have an idea," Kate quickly said with conviction. "Let's make a pact. Let's promise that no matter what happens to us in fourth grade, we'll always stay friends."  
Each of the three girls put their hands on top of each other's. "Best friends forever!" they screamed out all at once at the top of their lungs, and giggling they leapt off the front porch to chase each other between the quickly falling raindrops.  
  
"Well, it all started at the Digital Bean," I began slowly. "I stopped there to get Gordo a smoothie for his throat because he was sick." I stopped for a minute and smiled at the thought of the two smoothies I bought that were probably still sitting on the table melting at the Digital Bean. "Anyway, I ran into Ethan there. He was having a problem and looked pretty upset."  
Kate nodded, and I took that as my cue to continue speaking. "Well, I sat down for a second to try to help him, and I guess I did, so he gave me a hug to thank me. Just as he was doing that, Gordo walked in and saw him."  
"And I bet he thought you were doing something you weren't doing," Kate finished sympathetically. "Lizzie, I'm so sorry."  
"Thanks," I said, nodding. "I don't know why he would think that right away without giving me a chance to explain or anything. Gordo's usually so logical with his decisions... I don't know why this time was so different. It just doesn't make any sense to me."  
"Can't you see, Lizzie?" Kate asked patiently, as if she were speaking to a little child. "Gordo cares about you so much, he can't stand to see you with another guy. He's probably so worried about losing you now that you're his girlfriend that he got scared. Lizzie, I wouldn't be surprised if he said he loved you."  
  
Don't you see it? Don't you see what's happening here?" Kate prodded impatiently the night of the murder mystery party, still speaking in her fake British accent.  
"I see that Gordo's trying to beat me!" Lizzie exclaimed, annoyed.  
"Well, that's partly it!" Kate answered, exasperated, switching back to her normal voice. "Gordo's human. He's probably just tired of being a doormat."  
"And he's sick of being the low key best friend that nobody notices," Lizzie returned logically.  
"He doesn't want just anyone to notice him," Kate explained with emphasis. "He wants you to notice him."  
"Me? Why me?" Lizzie thought for a second after asking.  
"Everyone at school can tell," Kate went on. "Gordo's had a crush on you for, like, ever. You've just been paying too much attention to Ethan to notice. So do him a favor and yourself a favor, and.... I'll pay attention to Ethan."  
"I- I've gotta go," Lizzie stammered nervously, flushed. "I've gotta go reveal the, um, killer person guy."  
  
"Wow," I said thoughtfully. "Loves me? You think so? Kate, I've gotta go find him! I hope it's not too late already!"  
"Too late?" Kate repeated. "I don't think it would ever be too late for Gordo to forgive you for anything, especially if you didn't do it."  
"Thank you so much for all your help, Kate," I exclaimed, hurrying up from the swing. "You helped me realize exactly what I have to do. Bye!"  
  
"Wait, Lizzie!" Kate called after me. She looked up at the sky, which was now overcome with dark clouds promising a heavy downpour of rain any second now. "Do you think you're gonna make it?"  
I shrugged. "If I run. But I will never be able to live with myself if I don't at least try."  
"Okay," Kate replied. "Go! Now! And good luck!"  
I took off running down the driveway and on to the street. I was in for the biggest and most confusing rollercoaster of my entire life. 


	13. Chapter Eleven

By the time I arrived back at Miranda's house, it was eight, and I was a mess. I was soaked from head to toe with rain, crying my eyes out, and I was hungry and tired and most of all, brokenhearted. I wanted to crawl into Miranda's bed and hide under the covers and never come out, not for anyone or anything. I felt so horrible, I was sure that nothing could ever make me feel better ever again.  
I rang Miranda's doorbell, hoping that she and her family hadn't decided to go anywhere while I was gone, thinking that I would be at Gordo's. Fortunately, a moment later, the door opened and Miranda appeared. Seeing immediately how disheveled I looked, she ushered me inside with a concerned motherly expression on her face.  
Without asking me any questions and without a word to her parents, silently she lead me up to her bedroom. She took out my favorite ducky pajamas from my suitcase and handed them to me.  
"Go and change, and I'll be right here waiting for you when you come out, okay?" she said gently, in a way that made me want to do nothing other than to follow her directions.  
When I came out, dry and changed, Miranda was still standing there, waiting for me like she promised. She took action right away. She had known me for so long and so well that I didn't need to tell her how upset I was for her to automatically know. I knew that even though I hadn't said anything to her in the fifteen minutes I'd been back at her house, already she could tell how hurt I was and that it had to have something to do with Gordo.  
We sat down on her bed, and Miranda looked right at me. "Do you want to tell me what happened, or are you not ready to talk about it yet?"  
She understood. Finally, someone in the world that understood my crazy, mixed up emotions! She knew without asking me to explain that talking about what had happened would make it all the more real, like peeling the Band-Aid away and leaving the wound open to infection. Talking would be like letting my guard down, opening myself up to all the hurt and pain that would undoubtedly flood over me.  
I knew that whether or not I was ready to talk about it yet, talking about it would help. It would make me feel better, and if I needed to talk about the situation in the future it would be good if someone knew the background information without having to force myself into explaining all over again, if by then the pain was completely gone.  
"It all started when I left your house and went to the Digital Bean," I bravely began, taking a deep breath and swallowing hard to turn back the tears that I could already feel coming on. "I went to get us smoothies, I mean, me and Gordo us, because he was sick, you know? I thought it would make him feel better when I went to visit him. Well, I bought the smoothies and there was Ethan, and he looked really upset, like he was having a problem. So I asked him what was wrong, and he told me that he might have to move away before the summer's over, and it's up to him to decide if he's going to move or not."  
I took another deep breath and then continued. "Um, and, anyway, I thought that he could use someone to talk to for a few minutes, so I sat down with him and tried to help him sort out his problems. I mean, I know I'm with Gordo now, or was with Gordo, but... Ethan's my friend, whether I feel that way about him or not. So when we were done talking a few minutes later, we stood up and he gave me a hug to thank me. And that was when..." I had to stop for a minute to wipe a budding tear away that was about to slide down my cheek.  
"That was when I turned to see Gordo standing by the door. He saw us hugging, and he thought...he thought that...we were together. So he started running away from me, and he wouldn't stop. I tried calling after him, but he didn't answer, and then before I could do anything, he was gone. So I started walking. I was walking and I didn't know where I was going until....until awhile after I started walking. I don't know if you can understand that, but that's what I was doing."  
"I completely understand that," Miranda said truthfully, nodding. "You remember... back when I was having that, um, eating problem? After you tried talking to me at the mall, I did that a lot. I think that's what made me figure things out, you know?"  
I nodded. "That makes a lot of sense to me. But anyway, I was walking, and I thought that the best person to help me decide what to do was Kate, because she seems to know all the right things to do about Gordo... and she said something that really changed my mind. I decided to go after him. And I did, and then it started to rain, but I didn't care. When I got to his house, no one was home, so I sat down on the front porch to wait out the rain, and see if he got home while I was there waiting. Well, they got home, and then as soon as Gordo got out of the car, another girl did too...and I think they were together. Together together. So I took off. I left. I can't believe he'd do something like that to me, Miranda."  
Miranda just nodded, and from the look on her face I could tell that she felt true sympathy for me, not pity, the only kind a good friend can feel. "I think you might need some time to yourself, Lizzie," she decided quickly. "I'll go downstairs for awhile and let you think alone, okay? Unless, of course, you don't want to be alone. In that case, I can stay."  
"No, you have a good idea," I agreed. "Maybe some time alone to think might be good for me, you know? Thanks, though, Miranda....you... you're a really good friend. My best friend."  
Miranda left and I layed down on my side on her bed, my back to the door. I stared at the wall blankly. I was feeling a bunch of different emotions all at once and I didn't know which one to start with, which one I was feeling the most....which one was the one causing me all of this pain. Fear? Jealousy? Absolute pain? Heart ache? Lonliness?  
I sighed, my heart heavy. I couldn't remember the last time I felt this awful. I didn't think I ever had. Was this how Gordo felt when he saw me and Ethan together at the Digital Bean? If it was, then I understood why he left, without giving me any chance to explain. If it was...how I felt when he walked out on me must be how he's feeling right now. Because didn't I do to him exactly what he did to me? Didn't I just walk out on him without knowing for sure that what he was doing was wrong?  
But if he was trying to get back at me by being with that girl because he thought I was with Ethan... well, that was unforgivable. What if he was guilty? What if that was the reason he was looking at me like that? My body was shaking with anger toward Gordo. That little...trying to make me feel bad and then turing around and being with that other girl? I am so much prettier than she is.  
"Lizzie, I wouldn't be surprised if Gordo said he loved you." Kate's words echoed painfully loudly through my head. "Said he loved you. Said he loved you. He loved you. Loved you. Loved. You."  
That was a lie. If he loved me, why would he hurt me this way, in the worst way possible?  
No. That was all wrong. Deep inside, I knew that Gordo could never do anything like that to me....because I knew his heart and always had. It all lead right back to me.... this was all my fault and I knew it. If I hadn't given in to talking to Ethan, maybe none of this would have ever happened. Maybe I would have been spared all of this hurt and all of this pain. There were too many maybes and what ifs to even begin to think about.... too many what could have beens.  
This is all your fault, Lizzie. All of this is because of you. You deserve to be in all of this pain because of one tiny choice you made today, one tiny choice that changed your life. One. Tiny. Choice. Your fault, all your fault. All. Your. Fault. You are in pain and it is all your own doing. You should have made Gordo top priority. Instead, you stopped to help a friend, just a friend. Not a best friend, not even a close friend, just a friend. He had a problem, but he was a capable person who could have handled his own problems because of that all on his own.  
Stupid, stupid, stupid, Lizzie. You never deserved a boyfriend. You were a bad girlfriend. You always have been. You were embarrassed by Larry. You weren't good enough for Ronnie. You couldn't handle the fame that came with dating Frankie, which he couldn't help. You were a terrible girlfriend to each of them, and they were all perfectly good guys. Well, except for Larry, maybe, but still. And now I'd managed to get a great guy, possibly the best one I'll ever get in my entire life, and look what I'd done. What was wrong with me?  
  
Everybody's talking But they don't say a think They look at me with sad eyes But I don't want their sympathy It's cool you didn't want me Sometimes you can't go back. But why'd you have to go and Make a mess like that? Now I just have to say  
  
Before I let go  
  
Good going, Lizzie. You just threw away the best relationship you'll ever have for maybe the rest of your life. You let go the one guy in the entire universe who loves you more than he loves himself, the one guy who would literally probably die for you, the one guy who would give anything in a minute to ensure your happiness. You don't just find a guy like that on the street every day, you know. Guys like Gordo are very hard to come by.  
  
Have you ever been low Have you ever had a friend That let you down so When the truth came out Were you the last to know Were you left out in the cold Cause what you did was low  
  
He's known you all your life. He knows you better than anyone, he knows your past and wants to be there for your future. Even your parents and Miranda don't understand you as well as he does. You've built a stable relationshipo with him... you've built trust with him. Now, in a single instant, you've destroyed all of it. All of it! And it's all your fault. All. Your. Fault.  
  
No I don't need your number There's nothing left to say Except I never thought it'd hurt That much to be safe My friends are outside waiting I've gotta go  
  
Gordo was a great guy all right, the perfect one for you, maybe. But you know there is no doubt that once school starts up and girls start tiring of the short, meaningless relationships with boys they've grown accustomed to, they'll all be looking for something more. They'd discover Gordo as the great guy you've always known he was, and then there will be girls lining up at his door to go out with him. You never deserved Gordo, Lizzie. He was always out of your league, way too good for you. You never deserved him. Never.  
  
Have you ever been low Have you ever had a friend That let you down so When the truth came out Were you the last to know Were you left out in the cold  
  
Cause what you did was low  
  
My head was starting to hurt, and my eyes began to burn. I was so sick of being me, stupid Lizzie McGuire. who can't ever be a halfway decent person. Somehow I always manage to come up short. I'm not as popular and skinny and pretty as Kate. I'm not fun or interesting like Miranda. I'm nowhere near as smart as Gordo. I replicate every other teenage shegeek in America. And who's fault was it? All. My. Fault.  
  
I walk out of this darkness With no sense of regret And I have a clear conscience We both know that you can't say that So here's to show For all the time I loved you so So  
  
I leaned back against Miranda's pillow, the case wet from my tears and soaking hair. Slowly, I let myself drift off to sleep, with more pain in my heart than I ever thought I could bear alone.  
  
Have you ever been low Have you ever had a friend That let you down so When the truth came out Were you the last to know Were you left out in the cold Cause what you did was low 


	14. Chapter Twelve

The next time I opened my eyes was the next morning, at almost noon. I yawned and looked around Miranda's room, for a minute forgetting why there was this huge weight on my back. Then the events of the previous day all came flooding back to me. It felt like months since I was at the Digital Bean talking to Ethan. It felt like yesterday had been a million miles ago.  
I sighed, wondering what I was going to do today. I was going home after dinner, my parents were picking me up, so at least I could sleep in my own room tonight. I knew I'd have to get out of Miranda's bed sometime, so I might as well do it now and get it over with. I climbed off the bed and slipped my feet into my slippers. I was still sleeping in the clothes I'd worn all day yesterday, but I didn't care. I just didn't feel like changing. There was no point.  
Miranda walked into the room, already dressed and showered, and probably already haven eaten breakfast. "Well, look who's awake," she said in this really weird tone, kind of a forced cheerfulness mixed with extreme sympathy. "Are you doing any better?"  
"No," I replied glumly. "Do you mind if I just hang around here today, Miranda? I knew we had plans to go to the mall with your family, but you guys can go and have fun."  
"Of course you can stay home," she said, still talking quietly. "Are you sure you don't want me to stay with you? Are you gonna be okay?"  
"I'll be fine. I just want to have a day to mope around, and I don't wanna have to drag you down with me," I lied. I did need a day to myself, but I needed to sound like I was still at least halfway emotionally stable.  
"Okay, if you're sure," Miranda said a little uneasily. "Well, we'll be back a little before dinner. I'll see you later, then."  
I nodded. "Thanks, Miranda. I really appreciate everything you and your family is doing for me. Thank you for understanding."  
Miranda smiled. "What are best friends for?" she asked, leaving the room and closing the door behind her. Finally, I was alone, for the whole day.  
There wasn't anything I wanted to do or felt like doing, so I decided to try to perk myself up by putting on some music and getting online. Maybe I'd get a nice e-mail from someone that would make me feel better. Maybe Miranda had a few cool websites bookmarked that I could check out.  
I signed on Miranda's screen name and opened up her favorites. Just as I was about to click on a jewelry store's website that looked kind of interesting, the phone on her desk rang. I picked it up, wishing I knew who it was, wishing Miranda had caller I.D. in her room.  
"Hello?" I asked boredly, expecting it to either be my parents or Miranda's grandmother, who calls every once in awhile from Mexico City to check on Miranda and her mom and dad. Or maybe Miranda was calling to make sure I was still okay. She's such a good best friend.  
"Lizzie! You're still there." It wasn't Mom or Dad. It wasn't Abuela Sanchez. And it wasn't Miranda. As soon as I heard his voice, my heart started pounding. I wasn't sure what to think, how to feel, what to say. I was just... there.  
"Gordo." I sounded a little surprised, I must admit, but I wasn't expecting him to call. I was expecting him to be so furious with me that he would never want to see my ugly face again. I was expecting him to be spending the day with his new girlfriend.  
"We really need to talk. It's important." Gordo's voice sounded gentle, but urgent. I knew exactly what he wanted to talk about and I didn't want any part in it.  
"Do you have any idea how I feel right now? I don't think I can talk to you." I was blunt and honest, but I think I came off sounding a little irritated with him. Who was I to feel irritated with him when everything that's ever gone wrong in our relationship is my fault?  
"I know how you feel, because that's how I feel too," Gordo said, and I could tell by the way he said it that he meant it. He wasn't just saying things. Of course, I shouldn't have needed to listen to his tone of voice to know that Gordo, my former boyfriend and best friend, doesn't lie about things like that. Especially to me.  
"I really don't feel like talking." I think that he could tell that I was crying by now. Not very much, and not very loudly, but still I was crying.  
"Don't cry." He could tell, then. I should have known. This was Gordo I was talking to. "Lizzie, I don't know what happened yesterday, and...we just need to talk. If not now, can we talk later?"  
"I have to tell you something," I said after a long silence between us. "I don't think I can see you anymore."  
"What?" Gordo sounded shocked and hurt, like he'd just been punched in the stomach.  
"I've hurt you once, and I don't want to hurt you again," I sobbed into the phone. "I'm so sorry, Gordo. Goodbye." With that, I hung up the phone. Then I signed off and fell onto Miranda's bed and cried. What I said yesterday was wrong-- it is possible to feel worse than I did last night.  
About an hour later, the doorbell rang. I'd still been crying, so I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, tucked my hair behind my ears, and put on a brave face. I walked downstairs and opened the front door. And there he was. I should have known..... that he was going to try again.  
"Lizzie, can I come in? We have to talk before you make a decision like this. It's really important that you give me a chance to change your-"  
"Gordo, please stop doing this," I begged. "Please! It's useless. If we don't have trust, we don't have anything. I've hurt you enough already. Don't you want to feel better? This is the only way."  
"No!" Gordo exclaimed. "The only way I'll ever feel better is if you let me talk to you for five minutes. Please. Just five minutes, that's all I'm asking."  
"No," I said flatly. "Goodbye, Gordo." I closed the door, locked it, and turned to go back upstairs, but I didn't make it. I slumped down against the door and buried my head in my hands. I could hear Gordo outside on the porch, ringing the doorbell, knocking, and calling my name. After twenty minutes, he was gone, and I started to cry again. 


End file.
